Lake County, Michigan, has a fantastic sale going on this month at one of its supermarkets. Check this out!
10 Pounds of Sugar for 42 Cents
Coffee- 19 Cents a Pound. That ought to “perk” you up!
Toilet Paper- 6 Rolls for 25 cents
Tall Cans of Milk for 33 cents
3 Pounds of Steak for 25 cents total0
Butter- 2 Pounds for 33 cents
Sliced Bacon for 10 cents a pound
Pork Roast is a little higher for 60 cents a pound
Lard- 4 Pounds for 19 cents
Macaroni- 10 packages for 39 cents
What a fantastic sale! Of course this sale was held in December of 1933 but then maybe one of you has a time machine so that you can avail yourselves of these great prices?
Some say bass this big can’t be caught in Big Bass Lake anymore and others have a difficult time finding any bass in the lake at all. Young Keifer here isn’t saying but word has it that his aquarium provides him great fishing pleasure.
Maybe some of our readers, or those that live around Big Bass Lake, can enlighten us? How big are the fish you’re catching on the lake? Share with us your victories as well as about those big one’s that got away! Maybe all you’re catching are mosquito bites?
And what is the best location to fish around Big Bass Lake? What kind of fish most attaches itself to your line? If you’re having trouble thinking of answers perhaps you might want to visit Keifer’s aquarium? Or you might even want to tell us to kiss your “bass”?
That first picture is of me now but here I was in my younger days. My old pal Dave, and I do mean old, tells of the great fishing in Michigan, but I’m here to tell you that Indiana can hold its own with any state. Dave used to write about a fictional helicopter that flew called the Muck and the Mire. Today that is where I find the worms that can catch me a fish like this!
The secret is to dig for those worms deep in the earth. My wife Sharon has a nose for that sort of thing. She can sniff out a good worm from fifty paces. Well, when I got the ones I wanted, baited my hook with the very best of those. To land this beauty it took me nearly six hours to pull her in. For a spell I got free tow around the lake as this monster was not going to my frying skillet without a good fight.
But all it took was one worm to do the job not to mention six grueling hours hauling her in. Even then, she was too big for my boat so I sort of dragged her to shore. I’m glad Sharon was with me cause she did all the rowing to get me back to dry land. Then it took her another six hours to clean this thing. After that she cooked it in about ten skillets. For some strange reason, though, it only took me several minutes to eat it. I can’t figure out why it took her so long to do her part when it only took be minutes to digest it?
Maybe I had her row to much? By the way, she snapped off this great shot of my fish. Ain’t she a dandy? No, not my Sharon, the fish!
I am the only true owner of Turtle Island. All others are false. Some say the Manistee National Forest used to own this island and that is another false claim. I own it and I lay claim to it. My relatives also live here. Some Humans camp out here and leave their trash behind. This Means War. I declare war on those that despoil this island. I will fight them to the death. Those Interlopers are supposed to bring their own firewood otherwise my Island would be naked and would carry an X-Rating. I do not want that to happen. And please children don’t take us home to live in a fishbowl. This is our native land Turtle Island. Some have seemed to call this Pirate Island but they have pirated away our Island. If necessary we will call upon our cousins the snapping turtles for assistance. They will take a bite out of the crime here for sure. I am part of turtles United for freedom. Be forewarned.
I just don’t get no respect! After years of faithful service to my owner, he dumps me here in this graveyard to rot alongside these other relics. For decades I took him all over Big Bass Lake with his stinking bait fouling up my person. And, was he grateful enough to patch up a few of my leaks? No, the cheapstake couldn’t afford that but he could afford worms.
No wonder I aged so fast what with my creaky oar locks. A drop of oil or two would have prevented that but that old skinflint owner of mine chose beer over helping out my creaky joints. Add to that of having his posterior on me continually was more than I could bear. So what if I gave him a few splinters in his bottom over the years. Was hat enough to justify him dumping me here to let the worms rot away my frame?
That guy never even covered me when it rained so that I nearly drowned when I filled up with water at those times. What did he think I was? A cold tub? He even left me on shore during the winter and then wondered why I began shriveling up! Froze up was more to the point.
And do you think I ever got a new paint job? NOT! And so I wind up here along with all these other old timers. If I had the chance I’d like to take out one of my oars and paddle the daylights out of my owner. I gave him the best years of my life and then he replaces me with that shiny speed boat. You would have thought that he would have liked the exercise I provided him that he’d have had to pay for at some health club. Yeah, I heard that some of my contemporaries wind up in those places as rowing machines. Lucky stiffs! Instead I wind up being a stiff at this graveyard. I just don’t get no respect!
Have you ever heard from a fish? No, the one on Barney Miller won’t do. How about a bass fish from Big Bass Lake and his take on the fisherman just above him?
“That poor shnook thinks he’s going to get me into his fry pan tonight. For one thing, he’s using stale worms. What sense is it to take a live worm and then drown it the very next second? When’s he going to bait his hook with some cheese!? Not that stinky limburger cheese either. How about some nice peanut butter cause then maybe he’d catch a JELLYFISH!
What’s that guy reading anyway? It looks like Fishing Made Easy. Ha! It’s certain that one of my kind didn’t write that garbage. You know, maybe I should lead him over to Turtle Island cause then maybe he could catch something that he could eat! If nothing else, maybe I could get someone to cast him in “Hook”? You know, he doesn’t handle that boat real well either. He almost lost that oar in the drink. Maybe he’s trying to paddle me?
I think he’s given up cause his boat is heading for the public landing and I thought I heard him say something about ordering a fish dinner at Nah-Ta-Ka. That’s about the only thing he can catch except maybe a cold or a few mosquito bites. Oh, well, let’s see who else I can pick on somewhere in Big Bass Lake”.
I’m used to shooting from the hip as to what I want to say and thus this child reflection. I’ve often wondered why I have a “yen” for Japanese food, such as sushi, and perhaps this is why. As a young tadpole, like most kids, I loved to catch frogs. I recall my grandpa once telling me how great frog legs tasted and so I thought I would do him one better.
I caught a frog and began eating him headfirst. I can almost recall that slimy feel as I digested that critter. Later when I was telling grandpa about it, he admonished me saying that he first had to COOK his frog legs. “Oh!”
Later that day, for some reason, I had an insatiable urge to leap about. I still don’t understand why? Now, most normal people would never try such a thing but I’ve always considered myself above normal. My hubbie Bob calls me abnormal. That’s almost as tasty as that frog was. However, for the rest of that day I had a very nasty flavor in my mouth? Maybe that was from eating too many jellybeans?
Would I try that today? Of course not! Instead I would first cook that entire frog and then eat it. My grandpa loved frog legs but I love to devour the whole thing. I never do anything second best!
This is really what they call a drag race. They call it that because we are being dragged by another boat. And not very fast either. There is not even a wake here because our boat is fast asleep. A turtle with arthritis could be going faster than us. And we aren’t even dressed in Drag to match our velocity. At this rate of speed it’ll take us 2 days to get home. Whoever came up with the idea for this float should be shot! I mean what if we need a bathroom break? And what if the sheriff Patrol gives us a ticket for going too slow? I told you we shouldn’t have had Nestle’s Quick this morning as it’s given us the slows.
I have a major announcement to make and that is the Olympic Games are coming to Big Bass Lake in irons Michigan. Or at least the Olympic music is coming to Big Bass Lake. Olympic music So forget about about the Rowing competition for another year.
If you ask me that looks like some kind of an airplane on that boat. If it is that makes that boat an aircraft carrier and probably the first one ever on Big Bass Lake. One thing is for sure and that is that plane could never take off on that carrier. There’s just not enough room. Still it would be something to talk about at Big Bass Lake for some time to come. The one and only aircraft carrier ever to appear on the lake. I wonder what it’s fire power would be? At least Big Bass Lake will be protected from any known enemy. Let the enemy beware!
Two deer are out for a swim at Big Bass Lake. They almost look like two periscopes as if a submarine was below them. I’m sure there’s also serves as a bath for the deer. I wonder how much “doe” Big Bass Lake charges for the service? Maybe a”buck or two”? I know for sure that they have to clean off because they’re going to a “stag” party tonight down the Bloody Antler Trail. If these two need to use the bathroom I wonder if they have a “deer” John?
This is the best way to get your car washed at Big Bass Lake. And you don’t even have to get out of your car to do it. At the same time you can take a tour of the lake and when you’re done you can dry off your car and polish it. I won’t let Ed Hawks know about this because he may be the first to want one. It beats a speedboat because if you want to pass you just honk your horn. If you have a political bumper sticker you can prove to anyone that your candidate is all wet. I wonder what the fish think when they see underwater tires? Maybe they’re thinking it’s a new way of fishing. Oh well at least you don’t have to haul your boat out at the public landing. You just drive out. Maybe they can get it some like a dog where they can shake the water off themselves?
One night I was walking through Lakeview Cemetery taking a stroll when two girls from Camp Martin Johnson came up to me. They told me they were out after hours and were scared. They asked me if I would escort them out of the cemetery. I agreed and I told them then I used to be scared of cemeteries to when I was alive. You never saw two girls run so fast. Believe it or not.