Manistee Instant Car Wash on US 31


When you approach this Manistee police officer, who seems to be the gatekeeper for this innovative new car and people wash, he will advise you to roll down your windows and get a good fast start before you roar through the waters coming fast down that hill. It’s a kind of US 31 Shoot the Shoots.

By the way, you have to supply your own towels! Also you’ll need your own soap and car polish as well. I take it you know which one to use on which?

The Talking Feet of Camp Martin Johnson


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Thank heavens my master took off those hot sneakers. I literally choke to death in there. Ah? Fresh air! I wonder what those other six tootsies think about their masters’ tennis shoes? At least I get a little airing out in this tent although it also is a bit musty in here. Great! My master is putting on his swimming trunks and that means one last time in Big Bass Lake this summer. He’s heading back to Chicago tomorrow as camp will be closing down.

Wow that cool grass feels good. Yes, these great steps that lead down to the waterfront are so cool they make me feel like a new foot again. I won’t be seeing them again for awhile. Oh, yes, going up, but down? Not until next summer. That sand feels so good. I often wonder why my master brushes that off after swimming?

Even better! Oh that is refreshing! That first run in to the lake and now I am totally submerged and feeling better by the minute. Us feet take a pounding in the event that you did not know. We’re hard to reach to clean so these times in the lake feel really good.

You know, to tell the whole truth, I heard this is the last summer at this camp. From now on when I get to go into water it will either be at Lake Michigan by Chicago or in some hard bottom pool. It’s just not the same as Big Bass Lake. I’ve been coming here three straight years and each time, for some reason, I seem to be getting bigger. I’m sure glad that my master keeps getting new shoes or else I think I’d be squeezed to death in those sneakers of his.

Well, I’m out and for the last time. Yes, up those stairs too for the last time. You know, some day, after this camp closes for good, I’ll be back here again. I will not be de-feet-ed!

Innovative Soup


Kids love soup but how about weasel soup? Maybe that’s more for the moms?Now here is a soup that any kid would love and at the bottom of the can might be some real bubble gum. Our next soup would be tasty for anyone in the family.

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After consuming this soup you might have a tendency to slow down. Oh well, so much for soup today. Can you believe that it was kind of a boring day in Arizona today?

Bob and Sharon’s Love Nest by Bob Hamilton


When I married the love of my life, Sharon, I built her a love nest that surpasses all others.  I have to admit that its hard to really love a woman with  a fiery personality but I was desperate.  And, I have to admit that when people threw rice at us on our wedding day, I was so hungry that I ate half of what they threw. 

I nearly got a hernia carrying Sharon over the threshold and then for the first time she beheld our love nest.  She was speechless for nearly three hours.  And, for her, that is a record!  She finally forgave me for forgetting to put a bathroom in our home.  First thing next week and I’ll start on our outhouse.  Sharon said that it had better look better than our love nest. 

I purchased our new home, sight unseen, from a real estate agent for a song.  I say that because he was singing “Happy Days” after I forked over 100,000 dollars for our love nest.  If you’re curious as to what our new home looks like, be curious no more!

Sharon screamed when she first saw this place but warmed to it over the next few hours.  I tried to fix the shingles on the roof but my weight did some damage to it.  Hey, I can fix that too!  Besides, a flat roof does have some advantages. 

Sharon did seem to like our stone foundation as she hurled a few of them at me.  It was the firs time ever that I was stoned.  She asked me how I could buy a house without a bathroom and I told her that I was interested in cutting costs.  Besides the outhouse will only be a quarter of a mile from the house!

This home was worth every penny of that 100,000 dollars I spent on it.  Sharon loved me enough to suggest that I take a mental test but I told her that I was mental enough as it was.  I told her that we did have running water as when it rains it comes down the sides of the house.  Can you beat four corners of running water? 

We had a horse trough for a bathtub and it was big enough for both me and Sharon together.  She put a fire under it and presto, I had a hot tub!  It nearly burned off thirty pounds before I knew what was happening.  She later used that to cook our food.

I’m sure smart when it comes to good real estate.  So what do you think of my love nest?

Bear It All


WOULD YOU LIKE TO DANCE? I THINK I CAN BEAR YOUR BREATH! What a Rumble they’ll make on the Dance Floor. The fur will fly! Next I want to show you the proper way to hire a crossing guard for your children. Who would mess with this crossing guard? Oh, and make sure they all get across safely.
Every last one before traffic can proceed again. And remember please Don’t Feed the Bears or they might feed on you!

A Fishy Fulk Story by B. Gill


I’m in big trouble now. I just heard through the ripples that James Fulk is fishing the lake today. The word is that he’s frying pan happy and wants me bad. I’ve eluded him for years but this year he’s after me more than ever. He always has such juicy worms too. I know that because sometimes I see him taking a few for himself. I’ll have to put up my reed periscope and see where he is. I spotted him. And he’s heading this way. He must have spotted my reed periscope? Well, I hate to do this, but there’s only one thing left to do. I thought I would never have to resort to this. I’m really a super fish. No really! And I think I’m going to have to reveal my secret identity even to James. He won’t be getting me in his frying pan today. I think my pals will help me in this regard.

Just Grin and Bear It


Hey, Ed! I’m back and hibernation is over! How about a grub steak? I’ll take mine rare and plenty of juices. I’m as hungry as a bear. Hey Ed, do you hear me? Stop hiding under the bed.

Ed? Brownie was here yesterday. I’m here for my honey and you can send her out anytime. No that’s not me growling it’s just my stomach.

Unusual Food Labeling


for the main course, how about some pressed turkey carcass? I think a turkey proctologist gets this in the right shape? Then for a side dish try this delicacy. Gerber. It’s not just for babies anymore. In this jar you get a whole McDonald’s meal. I guarantee you it will taste better than strain carrots. And now for dessert. And we have kept diabetics in mind here. the perfect candy for diabetics and those struggling with obesity. Just the right supper menu. Happy eating.