Several months ago I was camping in the Manistee Forest just north of Grand Rapids. As I ate my supper of beans I became aware of a growing pain in my gut. Soon I was withering on the ground in agony. And instead of getting the usual reaction to beans, my body was being torn asunder. I must have lost consciousness for a moment.
When I came to myself, I seemed quite different in feeling. As I got to my feet I sensed an inner strength in me that I had never known before. I moved to my truck and glanced into the windshield which caught my reflection. Somehow those beans had transformed me into a hideous creature. I can’t explain how but I sure hope they don’t market those beans to anyone else.
I found myself being able to uproot trees. I literally roared and could not believe the sound coming from my lungs. It was fearful to say the least, even to me. What had I become? How could I ever return to my job? And how would my girl friend react to me? How would she react to this new animal nature of mine? I roared again in complete agony over my situation.
Thoughts entered my mind about men hunting me down for a trophy for their wall. Worse still they may take me alive and make me a part of a freak show. Just then another man emerged from the darkness and beheld me. He literally screamed and ran as fast as he could away from me and I knew then that this was the start of a manhunt for me.
Just then my body was again wracked with horrific pain and I fell to the ground. Again I lost consciousness. This time, when I recovered, I was my old self again. I took my supply of those beans and buried them in the woods. No one should have to go through what I had experienced that night.
Then I thought of that man who I scared. Who would believe his story without proof. It would be he that would be charged with being some sort of crackpot. I can’t say for sure that this all wasn’t some sort of hideous dream but then there were those two trees that I ripped from the ground and they were still torn from the earth before me. So what did happen to me that night?
By the way, I managed to draw a map of where I had buried those beans just in case I might need them again. You just never know about those things.